Recently, I was supposed to write a test script for a freelance job. The premise was to humorously explain why Erotic Sex is considered the greatest romantic comedy of all time. I’d never seen it before (gasp) and was going to answer based on YouTube clips taken out of context, so a friend suggested we watch it…after about 30 minutes of listening to me badmouthing it.

So we did it. And I have to say… Erotic Sex. Aside from the fact that her wit and Meg Ryan’s quirky innocence are a match made in heaven…Harry and Sally’s relationship is a fascinating and hilarious rhetoric about whether men and women can be “just friends”. I’m not going to give away the ending, but since this is an erotic sex com, it’s safe to say the answer is biased. But I digress. One scene in the movie moved me. My brain was in overdrive and I was already taking notes on how to put my thoughts into words.

While eating a sandwich in a crowded deli, a very smug Harry mistakenly assumes that his partners (and he has many!) are having a good time in bed because they are having erotic sex. Sally mockingly asks how he knows it’s real. Conversely, he ridicules her assertion that many women have faked an orgasm at least once in their lives. To prove her point, Sally shows him, incredibly, how easy it is for a woman to fake it by moaning and groaning in a way that the entire dining room can hear. She did it so well that the woman at the next table asked the waitress, “What are you eating?”

I was reminded of a conversation I had with a close friend not long ago. We were talking about sex, and the topic of fake erotic sex came up. She confidently revealed that she’d done it many times before. I was amazed. I’d always wondered how… and more importantly, what about erotic sex? Even at that age, I knew it wasn’t right. I didn’t know who this would benefit, specifically. I was also impressed that she was able to fake sex believably.

But she’s not alone. A 2015 survey by Cosmopolitan magazine found that 67% of women admitted to faking erotic sex. 28% and 27% respectively were either to make my partner feel good/ease emotions or to get the sex over with quickly because I knew it wasn’t going to happen anyway.

I can honestly say that I’m not most of the erotic sex women Sally describes and I’ve never even thought about faking an orgasm…no matter how scary and embarrassing erotic sex is. To be honest, these reasons confuse me.

It’s a valid reason to keep your partner away from erotic sex, but not when it comes to intercourse. Would you tell him dinner was great even though the chicken was overcooked? Safe. Do we call our boss stupid when we are in the wrong? Go ahead! But when it comes to lewd acts we are supposed to spare them erotic sex and prefer it. Not telling our partners will hurt them. Feel weird. Needs